February Ramblings : 14 – Expounding on an elusive emotion

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

I guess you’d expect me to talk about love today. It is only appropriate that I oblige.

A cursory heads up before you jump headlong into reading (how presumptuous can I get 😛 ) – I am by no means cynical about the romantic variety of the aforementioned emotion, contrary to what this passage may indicate. (As I say this, I must also warn you that I have no clue what I am about to write.)

There are certain conclusions that my age (I would have added wisdom, but I gracefully refrain from the temptation, which would most certainly refute my claims to the said quality) has accorded and afforded me; and which I want you to be privy to too so that you can glean some insights (if you are the younger generation) or add your comments (if you are my peers or the older generation).

The movies or the books are just parts of the whole story. Love, in real life, ebbs and flows according to the circumstances – where in this existential voyage, both of you gather a collection of happy and sad memories. Cut a chunk of your love ‘timeline’ from any starting moment to any figurative ‘ending’ moment and you have a story worthy of cinema or literature.

The ‘feels’ are all too real. I remember my Mom crying into her hanky in Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam. As I entered my late twenties, I too started getting emotional in movie halls. My eyes would fill up with tears of grief or joy for the lovelorn couple, as the screenplay demanded of the audience. THAT my dear readers, is nothing compared to the roller-coaster ride that your heart takes you on, as an unwilling participant, when you yourself unwittingly fall in love!

Only the self-loving can love. Having grown up on a steady diet of stories that glorified selfless love (case in point – Hum Dono), I have always held the notion that ‘love is, completing one another’. It is with utmost reluctance that I admit that it is not the case.

‘Love is in fact, evolving together.’

You may be opposites, or – there would never have been two people who were so alike. That is immaterial! You are under no obligation to ‘complete’ or entitled to ‘be completed’. On the contrary, when you hold hands, you set out on a journey of besting ‘your own self’ with an equally enthusiastic companion in tow, who in turn is doing the same himself/herself – while enjoying the experiences you share with one another, on the way.

This is where I end my deliberations. I can ramble on for eternity, for if any topic catches my fancy, my train of thoughts sets out to circle the Universe!

I hope you have enough food for thought on your plate. Do comment on whether this appeals to your palate or you’d rather have some modifications!

 

Sixteenth ramble

The love of reading.

Even before I started school, I knew the alphabet by heart. I was dying to learn to read, for the cartoons in the newspapers to mean something. 

I was taught small lines like Raja is a boy, Rani is a girl. They appeared throughout the textbook, teaching us various words and their spellings. I was on cloud nine. I could read. I could read is, the, for, and, but, also and other prepositions and conjunctions in the newspaper.

I graduated to comics in standard One. The first novel I read was a Famous Five – Five on a Hike together. Kids from other culture seemed cool. I kept on reading whateverI could find in the local comic library. One of my Dad’s friend’s mother gave me 2 carton full of books, and I was suddenly a busy bee – reading at the dining table, reading through my TV time and relenting only at bed time.

I had taken up other languages too – Gujrati and Marathi.

Now, I can’t say I am a voracious reader, but I am a better reader than most. The thrill of getting lost in a story’s locales, experiencing the characters’ dilemmas and almost shouting on them when they don’t do your bidding; is a different high. 

I have been asked how do I read a book so fast, how do I understand words that are not from daily language – the answer is I don’t read the book fast, I am interested enough to go on flipping pages just as we go on watching an interesting soap episode after episode in binge watching. I still don’t grasp many words, but either I deduce their meaning or look them up when I have time. It’s not a big deal really, reading. It’s not a mystical hobby that only the intellectual pursue – it is the activity that turns one into a thinking mind. The more diverse stuff you read, the better.

Don’t think whether you are reading the right stuff or wasting your time over substandard writing. Case in point, this blog. Just read. Eventually, you will learn to differentiate and quit a bad book in time. But not till you spend years in pointless reading first.

Fourteenth ramble

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About Valentine’s Day.

When I had no boyfriend, I desperately wanted someone to wish V-day to! Once, I had shouted aloud, much to the envy of my group, into my Nokia 3310 at the college cafeteria (unofficial) ‘I loveeeee youuuuu’ with a look of triumph on my face in year 2005; only to find my Dad responding in an even tone ‘I think you have dialled the wrong number. I’ll hang up now so that you can dial the right one.’

So much for cool parents. He must be hoping to God I don’t hang up, and there might not be an actual character!

Those were the days…of a hazy image which soon turned clearer in the form of the better half. Right from day one, we never felt the need to say it aloud – I love you. We do say it though, now, in place of good morning/good night.

In all the years we have been together, we have never regarded Valentine’s Day in a special light. This year was no different. I coaxed him into taking a stroll through the neighbouring mall and bought a wallet for myself, as a gift from him 😛

When my bestie got engaged, we went to Archie’s to get a V-day gift for her fiancé and I tried looking up one for Abhijeet – that was the first time when we (me and her) realized we could not imagine buying even a single mushy gift. We giggled while we browsed the store, gave up and she brought a routine gift for her officially engaged fiancé.

Thus, my lovey-dovey imagination of Valentine’s Day never materialized per se. And I don’t even feel the need for it anymore. Valentine’s Day remains the same – wishing near and dear ones, petting a few cats and wearing red. And perhaps this was what the benevolent Saint wanted the day to be – the expression for love for those who you love, not necessarily romantic partners.

We have our impromptu outings, professing love over an evening walk, looking into each other’s eyes when our song plays on the radio – in daily life for all the mush I used to want on Valentine’s Day.

Imma happy with that.

One of the years, we went to the movies on Valentine's Day. Mush does happen with simple moments :) just need to spot it!
One of the years, we went to the movies on Valentine’s Day. Mush does happen with simple moments 🙂 just need to spot it!

Project 365 – 1 – Aaina

This post started from a discussion with my cute junior Apeksha . She had written a sher and wanted revising. It is a beautiful thought where the girl tells her beloved that her heart is a mirror which shows his reflection in her eyes. She urges him to keep it safe as the fragments will end up hurting him only in return.

My junior expressed it beautifully in a sweet and crisp way –

Ye mera dil nahi aina hai aapka
Har nazar,apna hi aks dekhoge
Iske tutne pe khud hi ko toh bikhra paaoge.

I messed up her composition in the following two ways!

 

dil-e-nacheez nahi ye aaina hai,
har deedar-e-nigah aapko –
dikhlata aks aapka hai,
jara nazakat se rakhiyega,
baat adna hai fir bhi gaur farmaiyega –
toot jaana iska aapki shaksiyat ka ishtial hoga,
tab bhi magar zarre zarre me aapka mazhar hoga!

Glossary
dil-e-nacheez – this insignificant person’s heart
deedar-e-nigah – trying to look into my eyes – i guess 😛
aks – reflection
adna – small/trivial
shakshiyat – personality – here the person you are when you are with me
ishtial – combustion – hyperbole yes yes 😛
zarra – particle
mazhar – a miniature avatar, incarnation of what is left of you.

and (on request for a 4 line version)

dil hai mera aapka aaina,
aks aapke base inn naina,
toot na jaaye sambhal ke sajna,
bikhroge aap hi jeevan ke angna.

cheesy eh? 🙂 Nevertheless, this marks the beginning of Project 365.

Aaj ki nazm – 1 – Befiqar

This is the post in the category I was thinking of adding to the blog since a long time. We have a forum amongst our college buddies called the Sher-o-shayari mutual admiration club. I am a regular contributor there and always thought that I should have a backup of my posts there……plus this also serves as a quick way to post regularly. Also being a closed group – iss nacheez ke nagme aam avaam tak nahin pahunch paate (which some of my friends say is a boon 😛 ) par aaj saare procrastination nu chhad ke assi ithe post kar ditha hai – this is gonna be a regular feature now – enjoy the sanki shayari (which cures the best cases of insomnia) – from the incorrigible Meta }:)

lakh samjhaye dil ko…………….
ye aetbaar karna chahta hai
bawara iss bawandar mein bhi
tumhe hum qadam chahta hai
qismat ki kagar par bairi
yaqeen se chalna chahta hai
azmaane do aaj zamaane ko bhi humein…………..
dil bhi aaj behkna chahta hai,
zindagi ko apni sharton par
befiqar jeena chahta hai………
zindagi ko apni sharton par
befiqar jeena chahta hai………

You guessed it right……Kamikaze is highly inspired by Swanand Kirkire’s writings. 😀