Day 18 : Heartbreak

NaBloPoMo November 2016

Youtube put this song in my auto-playlist :

(Disclaimer : I have not seen the movie.)

I think to myself, ‘Wow, this generation is so cool!’ Then I remember this :

Cool people are always cool, irrespective of ‘zamaana’.

It all boils down to my favourite Sahir Ludhianvi line :

‘Barbadiyon ka sog manana fazul tha,
Barbadiyon ka jashn manaata chala gaya’

Heartbreak – happens for various reasons. The one in this post is due to romantic relationships. For the most part of this post, read breakup = heartbreak and vice-versa.

In the 3 decades of life that I have seen, I have come to the conclusion that a human being needs another human beings to make life interesting. First it is family, then friends, and when the age comes – a partner. Humsafar. It literally means a fellow traveller (through life). For some, the binding factor is love, for some habit – depends on the phase of love they are in.

It’s very difficult to comprehend why and how love changes into habit. Small irritations turn into big ones, ignoring these or bickering on each of them ensues, and both sides feel as if they are being taken for granted. It is said that if you really love someone, you will not be able to remain cross for more than 3 days. What brings about the reunion? Love or habit?

I often wonder, nay – I claim, that a marriage is a relationship in which you assure each other that you’ll survive the breakups (trivial and serious) as far as you can bring yourselves to love each other despite these hiccups. To rephrase, a marriage is a steady relationship with on and off breakups that are not publicised. That, when a breakup happens, each tries to find a new/old other who is likeable and his/her ‘type’.

A marriage is a guarantee that a temporary breakup will not affect the whole relationship built on solid foundations of liking the real person on the other side, of knowing his/her eccentricities (and being willing to accept/endure them within limits), and of promising to see his/her brighter side in dark days.

A marriage is a license to enjoy the perks of single life (eh, don get your mind running. By single life, I mean individual space) and couple life at once. A healthy marriage, that is.

I am not digressing from the topic of the post.

Heartbreak. These temporary breakups in a marriage, which come with a guarantee of a no-grudges patch-up, do not imply that they are painless. Heck! Ask those who are married (unless they are like the superhero couple from Honeymoon Travels Pvt. Ltd who never fought)…

The pangs of loneliness despite being together are as bad as (even worse than) an actual breakup. I have a suspicion that they arise more out of the habit of talking to each other. How would your day be if you are in the temporary breakup phase (read marital fight)? Mope around, trying to figure out a way to fall back or concentrate on tasks at hand as if it is not a big deal while it is secretly a big deal for you?

As for me, a little levity always helps deal with such days. Sigh…

So when I first heard this song, the first picture that came into my head was (I hadn’t seen the video then) –

A wife cooking something around breakfast time and humming the first para to herself, while the husband chimes in. This husband is the original or the transformed version of himself (whichever is better), with whom she fell/will fall in love with. At the end of the song, they end their temporary breakup and live happily forever after till another squabbling (which hopefully is far away).

Why does the husband have to change? Well, ask the song-makers!

If it would’ve been the other way round – Ranbeer Kapoor singing ‘Meri sajni se aaj maine Break-Up kar liya’… the picture in my head would be of a husband getting ready for office and the original/transformed version of the wife chiming in with –

Kalti hui jo sajni stupid teri
Jeevit hua hai phir se cupid tera
Baasi relationship ka label hata
Duniya (hum) ko tu hai available bata

Arey mere soye armaano ko wake up kar diya
Arey mere soye armaano ko wake up kar diya
Ke teri sajni se (aaha!)
Tune breakup kar liya…

 

 

Fourteenth ramble

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About Valentine’s Day.

When I had no boyfriend, I desperately wanted someone to wish V-day to! Once, I had shouted aloud, much to the envy of my group, into my Nokia 3310 at the college cafeteria (unofficial) ‘I loveeeee youuuuu’ with a look of triumph on my face in year 2005; only to find my Dad responding in an even tone ‘I think you have dialled the wrong number. I’ll hang up now so that you can dial the right one.’

So much for cool parents. He must be hoping to God I don’t hang up, and there might not be an actual character!

Those were the days…of a hazy image which soon turned clearer in the form of the better half. Right from day one, we never felt the need to say it aloud – I love you. We do say it though, now, in place of good morning/good night.

In all the years we have been together, we have never regarded Valentine’s Day in a special light. This year was no different. I coaxed him into taking a stroll through the neighbouring mall and bought a wallet for myself, as a gift from him 😛

When my bestie got engaged, we went to Archie’s to get a V-day gift for her fiancĂ© and I tried looking up one for Abhijeet – that was the first time when we (me and her) realized we could not imagine buying even a single mushy gift. We giggled while we browsed the store, gave up and she brought a routine gift for her officially engaged fiancĂ©.

Thus, my lovey-dovey imagination of Valentine’s Day never materialized per se. And I don’t even feel the need for it anymore. Valentine’s Day remains the same – wishing near and dear ones, petting a few cats and wearing red. And perhaps this was what the benevolent Saint wanted the day to be – the expression for love for those who you love, not necessarily romantic partners.

We have our impromptu outings, professing love over an evening walk, looking into each other’s eyes when our song plays on the radio – in daily life for all the mush I used to want on Valentine’s Day.

Imma happy with that.

One of the years, we went to the movies on Valentine's Day. Mush does happen with simple moments :) just need to spot it!
One of the years, we went to the movies on Valentine’s Day. Mush does happen with simple moments 🙂 just need to spot it!